'Sweating' With the Enemy?

It's a stormy, cold morning in June, a dark contrast to the early summer heat wave previously opressing enjoyment of outdoor activites so early in the season. My stomach has butterflies. I dreamt of this last night. I can't help but to wonder what kind of omen the odd, forboding weather is today.

I sit in the parking lot staring at a big brick wall with a huge winking smiley face.

A smile and a wink.... that's gotta be some sign of encouregment, right?

("Or is it mocking you???" The bitch which resides inside my brain asks)

I know this is what I want to do and all my trials and tribulations over the past year- my whole life!- have lead to this point.

But the naysayer inside still has a tiny voice in the back of my mind.

"What are you doing here? Just go home."

The rain stops and I see the sun winking at me now somewhere behind the disappearing whispy rain clouds.

Its time to shut that bitch up!

I run inside and as my assment is set to start, the sky darkens again and the building rumbles with thunder.

"See, I told you so! Even Mother Nature knows you don't belong here. Crossfit is BRUTAL. You can't do this.... "

The voice mixes and multiplies with the others who doubt my abilities, who don't believe in me anymore.

But there's that word again..... CAN'T.

It evokes the fire in my belly. The fuel I need to forge ahead and fight for respect. I am tired of being underestimated, counted out.

Can't never could, but I can. I will. I already am.

I've stalled in the bathroom long enough. I move from the mirror to the dark, gray, slightly stifling tiny washroom with a window blocked by bars. I actually laugh and become slightly giddy when I see the final sign I need releasing me from my frozen moment of fear and doubt.

Right there, taped at eye level to the wall, printed out in black and white and faded teal ink just for me to see at this moment in time is my new motto.....

Time to do work, bitches. Watch this......