Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Now I'm just in one of those pissed off for any and every reason moods. Mad at the world. I need some Bootcamp in the morning to calm my ass down.

Tonight was like the crescendo. Every time I turned to put out one fire, another bomb erupted behind my back. Alyssa has learned to climb on the couch and its a constant battle to keep her from climbing anything she can hike her leg up on.

So there she is sitting on the end table via the couch. As I fight her stubborn ass because all she wants to do now is sit on the end table, I realize my son is being way too quiet sitting behind the chaise lounge. Alarm bells for any parent. I pop up on him and catch him in the act of putting all his puzzle pieces down the air vent register.

As I was sticking my hand in to the spider web unknown, Alyssa reached the end table again and spilled my glass of water everywhere. As I ran to her, Carly continued her wail for her Teddy we couldn't find. We've never lost her Teddy before and this is the moment that happens? Right when they are ready for bed and I am ready for a few Ambien to take me away for a few days.

We of course have a back up Teddy, which was int he wash, so I leave them unattended to run downstairs and put it in the dryer. I hear a loud bang, the kind where you wince and freeze and wait to analyze the degree of injury from their cry. Silence. I bolt up the stairs and find both Alyssa and Bryce chilling on the end table, lamp on the floor.

What an end to my never ending Spring Break.

And there's still no end in sight. After tomorrow, I am on solo parent duty the rest of the weekend so my husband can visit his Dad in Georgia to fish. Recreation, what's that? I can't even dream of my non existnat get away at the moment. Even dreaming doesn't help. Even Bootcamp didn't help today. I think I am in trouble. My back is hurt from picking up my 35 pounder the wrong way over a week ago and of course it never gets to rest. I squat press 20, 26, and 35 lbs all day long. I feel like I could be an episode of 16 and Pregnant, except I'm older. If teenagers knew how much work being a good parent was, they would for sure double strap it up.

When I think of all my family on the beach in Florida, I keep singing in my head that margarita song 'Pour me something tall and strange, make it a Hurricane before I go insane.' And sad thing is, I don't even think alcohol will help because nothing I do can change my reality, all that is left is to change my attitude about it.

And right now I'm just fucking mad, so there's no talking rationally to an angry person. Even if its yourself and you realize how lucky you are to have so many blessings in life and that there's no reason to be ungreatful, but god damn can I just get a break!?

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