Paleo is the way to go

I’ve mentioned many of the ‘diets’ I have tried both successfully and disastrously, inflicting varying degrees of damage on my body. I’ve tried diet pills that made my heart race.

Running…. a lot. Jogging til my knees hurt chasing that 'runner's high', desperate to burn off the box of donuts I demolished that morning.

Jenny Craig in the 7th grade. How embarrassing is that taking the labels off your pre-packaged chicken salad can so none of the others kids would know their taunting comments had actually penetrated my cool exterior and fed into my pre-teen insecurities?

Counting Points Weight Watcher’s style was great for me because I could strategically still work fast food and sweets into my menu on a fairly regular basis.

There was surgery, physically altering my body to reach a perceived place of happiness, not much emphasis on health.

There was the College just-don’t-eat-drink-a-lot-of-alcohol-requisite-shake-your-ass-on-the-bar-3-to-4-hours-a-night-diet that ended me back up in the hospital with out of whack potassium levels so severe I developed a heart murmur. Serious shit.

Up and down the scale, my clothes sizes and emotions went. When I was introduced to the idea of eating Paleo, essentially only food from a source you can kill, grow or gather, of course I was doubtful. I didn’t think I could ‘give up’ so many of the things I loved, even if they were causing my body harm. I didn’t even know if I wanted to change my diet that drastically, even if it meant extending my life and improving the quality of it.

A life without cheese? Bread? Brownies? Cereal? What was the point of living?

Well, the point of living is actually living. And how I was existing before didn’t quite fit into that category. I was restricted by what I could physically do, or the lack there of. By the time I was 28 with an abused body from back to back pregnancies and muscle atrophy from months of bed rest, my pain threshold had been reached. Finally though, with three babies of my own to motivate the quest for a better self, my desire to be better for them was enough to catapult me into action.

I had figured it out…. if I wasn’t happy with myself or any situation in my life, all I had to do was change it!

Another 6 months or so passed with slowing results exercise wise even with working my ass off at Boot Camp, I realized another eternal truth:

You can’t outwork a bad diet.

So I dove in and focusing on my nutrition and decades of bad eating habits with a 28-Day Challenge. Basically it was weekly therapy sessions with an awesome group of like-minded women, paired with a strict cleanse/elimination style diet that allowed me to get away from all the things my body was addicted to.

My craving for food, (sugar, wheat, flour, caffeine, fat) pretty much dictated my life and every move I was going to make. The list of problem foods went on and on…. I discovered through the elimination phase during my Challenges that I was also ‘addicted’ to the following:

- Cheese. I never realized I put it on EVERYTHING until I stopped eating it.
- Starbucks/McDonald’s/gas station coffee drinks full of sugar or artificial sweetener. I just drink my coffee now straight up with a splash of Almond milk.
- Milk. There are many other options for breakfast besides cereal, yogurt, oatmeal, waffle, pancakes, bagels, and cow’s milk!
- Grains. I loved bread. I’d eat literally the whole bowl my soup was served in at Panera Bread, with a baguette.
- Ibuprofen. Who the hell gets ‘addicted’ to an over the counter pain reliever? ME! I thought I needed it just to get through the day with all the pain in my back, hip, knees. I was under 30 years old, but felt over 50! Maybe the Ibuprofen it was more of a mental addiction because my body was in such physical pain everyday that I thought I needed it right off the bat to get my day started and again to re-up in the afternoon just to make it through the day.

But truthfully, the pain never altered no matter what kind of pills I took. The only real improvement began when I started eating better and decreasing the amount of inflammation in my body through my diet, as well as continuing to work on flexibility and mobility exercises.

Eating Paleo also brought the added benefit of liking how I looked. Just by eating clean for 1 month, I saw changes in my physical make-up that have never manifested in months and years of working out or ‘dieting’. Areas of my body that exercise never touched disappeared just by altering what I ate! Say bye-bye to those love handles, muffin tops, protruding pouches, back cleavage or the annoying chest/armpit fat that bunches up from your bra.

Don’t believe me? Give it a try. What have you got to lose besides unwanted weight, bad tummy aches, and a life shackled to strong mental and physical craving for food?

By eating Paleo the past 6 months and keeping a detailed record of what I eat, I have learned many things I never knew about my body before. For example, who knew if I ate ice cream my digestive system would very quickly become upset and I would be on the toilet the entire next day?

Not to sound gross or give TMI, but one of the benefits of a Paleo diet is it helps with many health issues such as autoimmune diseases or many stomach/digestive problems such as Irritable Bowl Syndrome. I never thought I had problems resulting from what I ate, unlike other people I knew who are afraid to eat without access to a bathroom because just the simple act of eating wreaked such havoc on their body! What kind of quality of life is that!? But considering my kids are lactose intolerant, maybe Mama is too and never knew it!

How could that be…. 30 years of not knowing my body or some important triggers revealed in a few months of clean eating and paying attention to how I feel after I eat certain foods!? I am amazed. It’s like an ongoing science experiment.

The main difference I notice is how GREAT I feel not eating crap. I’ve come to realize if a man made it in a factory somewhere or if food comes from a package, it’s probably not that good for you.

Plus I’m proud of my developing Paleo preferences. Not that long ago I would have snarled my nose at eating a salad or drowned it in ranch dressing before I scarfed it down to get onto the main entrée. Now many days salads are the main entrée! I enjoy eating salads (mostly spinach) without dressing, and LIKE it. Actually crave it.

When you eliminate all the things your body is tricked into thinking tastes good like fried foods, sugar, salt and preservatives in EVERYTHING, you realize that nature has so much more to offer your palette than you ever dreamed!

And the herbs and spices! Whoever knew all those leaves, sprouts and weird looking twigs in the produce section were so flavorful that the addition to a few select choices could drastically alter the taste of an entire meal? Cilantro, basil and ginger…. OH MY!

I have discovered a whole new world of foods I love that are actually nourishing and good for me, like avocados. I eat an average of ½ of one a day, straight up with a slice of turkey or few ounces of chicken. On my salad, in a lettuce wrap, fresh made guacamole. And I never even tried it before because I thought it resembled baby poop!

I don’t even miss bread for my sandwiches now (I just roll up the turkey and stuff it with goodies like avocado, tomato, etc). Or potatoes! Baked potatoes were my all time favorite food, and chips! Not as many cravings because I know how I will feel if I eat them. Thirsty and greasy, with a nasty film in my mouth.

I’ve gotten to a really fun point where I have bought the entire cookbook selection available on Paleo cooking and eating. Now I get excited planning my meals for the week. My husband is a Chef by trade, so we spend awesome family time together in the kitchen developing our own fun, delicious recipes and have our own cookbook coming soon! What a feeling when I watch my entire family (all 5 of us, 3 toddlers included) happily polish off everything on their Paleo dinner plate.

Point is…. Paleo works. For me. And my family. I can see the longevity of living a lifestyle that leads to feeling better and fueling my body with what’s best for it. There’s a lot of fear behind ‘giving up’ so many kinds of food we all love, and a lot of emotional shit tied to eating too that can hinder and cloud the decision to jump in and give Paleo a try. And I am not saying I didn’t struggle BAD sometimes in the beginning, or still find it hard now not to fall into old habits.

But regardless how long it took me to get here, or the struggles that still rear their ugly head, the way I feel now overrides any previous fears I had about changing. I've discovered the benefits of fully living a healthier life can override any addiction though. So for me, Paleo is the way to go.

30 years of Leah passed with a celebration worthy of my old school reputation.

"Kick ass party!" posts and "You sure know how to throw 'em" comments littered my Facebook page the next day.

The pictures posted online stop documenting the party about the time the DJ started playing music so loud the only option was to dance, drink more, or leave.
There are after midnight pics on my camera, but none are internet acceptable. More like blackmail material, unnamed party goers dancing on the table, freak dancing like it really was 1999, sucking Jell-o shots off each other like they were made of water not vodka, people having sex on the side of the building, in the bathroom….. Now that’s what I call a PARTY!

We partied at the rental hall til 2:30 am, stopped by a local bar and shut them down after 4:00am. After the party it’s the after party and a few VIP guests were invited back to our new pad. We partied some more until the sun began peeking around somewhere out in the atmosphere where my sobriety resided and we finally called it a night.

The next day all I could say was 'Did I turn 30 or 21!?'

Thanks to all who came out to celebrate!

She's So Tough She Shits Nails...

My 30th Birthday celebration was awesome night, but really the party of the decade was just a tiny blip the radar of my life and everything else that went on in the days before and following the celebration of my birth.

What I will remember most is my kids dancing, singing & performing to Justin Bieber, twirling and break dancing, the kind of uninhibited happiness that only comes with the innocence of early childhood. I can remember being at parties or weddings like that as a child, just so unexplainably happy and overflowing with excitement and love. I could have cried right then, watching them made me so happy and fulfilled.

I remember my own mother turning 30. It was July in Florida and we sang happy birthday to her in a hot hotel room packed with family members. There’s a picture of her bent over blowing out the candles, all tan and blonde, coming off a recent major weight loss, flossing her strapless white baiting suit cover-up. I just remember thinking how happy and pretty she was. I can only hope my children look back at the pictures of us from that day and think the same thing, especially since they are too young to actually remember the occasion.

I never gave much thought to turning 30 until it was here. I wasn't one of those people who dreaded it, or hid from the fact they were leaving their 20's behind. I felt honored and blessed to have made it to 30, the everlasting residual effect of losing a good friend at 15. It just seemed symbolic to me to have lived twice her age. How lucky am I!? The other ironic element that makes me smile in amazement is just where my life is at 30. I always assumed by now I'd be married and have 2 kids- just like my mom. I always kind of paced my life to hers. And here I am....

Married to a wonderful man who always celebrates his birthday two days before mine. I love that tradition we have. So what I thought by now I'd have more of a 'career', be half famous by now as a reporter, writer, broadcast journalist.

But the big shocker is always 'Leah as the M.O.M'. Mother of Multiples. It’s the multiples part that amazes me to tears of gratefulness. I never in a million years would have come up with this scenario, that when I turned the big three-oh I'd be a mother of three... a beautiful, sweet three year old son AND twin two year old girls. Hell up until I was 28 I would have never thought by now I'd be a mother of three by now, especially twins.

I will always remember the wonderment in their faces as we sang happy birthday 5 times over a fresh fruit bowl with candles. Daddy's ice-cream cake they ate as I stepped out for a jog as they devoured the whole thing so Mommy's wouldn't be tempted. Birthday Boot camp in a stagnant firehouse gym on a monsoon rainy day. Finishing all my duties for the week and sailing into a Friday filled with pre-arranged babysitters for the kids and a day full of pampering literally from head to toe. Teeth cleaning at the dentist after dropping the kids off, lunch with my best girl friends, pedicure, pre-party margarita drinking decorating the Train Depot in preparation for the big day. The best laid plans....

Sometimes if I thought God was really that kind of God I could relate to the saying, 'God laughs at people who make plans.' It always seems as if whenever I have something planned, a party, vacation, anything out of the ordinary routine or special, something bad happens. These experiences fuel my anxiety about bad things happen and probably inadvertently draw more bad things my way, but DAMN IT sometimes can't I just get a break and have something go off without a hitch? No kids throwing up on Thanksgiving unknowingly passing a stomach virus around two both sides of the family, no babies in the hospital day after Derby, or my baby boy being admitted to Kosair the day after I returned to work after the birth of my twins.

And then... the nail. Alyssa swallowed a nail. A real, metal, sharp, pointy nail the night before my celebrations began.

I'll never forget another hospital adventure spent alone, no cell phone reception, physical company or support for Mama, just me and my baby entertaining ourselves in the depths of the children's hospital ER waiting rooms, sweet moments of assurance and prayer, songs and stories, stuffing the fear of 'what if' far, far away and not worrying more than necessary until they give me something to worry about.

It all worked out OK; she passed the nail past the crucial point in her stomach and eventually shit it out. That girl’s so tough…

"Hey Mom, have fun at your party! Don't worry about that nail in my belly...

Happy Birthday!"

Me & My Girls on Party Day

Food Revolution

I just watched the second season of Jaime Oliver’s 'Food Revolution' and I am amazed again at the resistance he faces trying to educate Americans about what they are eating! People are giving him shit for showing them food alternatives that taste good and are better for their health than the processed, fast food bullshit we are addicted to!?

I’ve come to the conclusion that basically the bottom line is money and addiction. Why else would people continually make themselves sick with diabetes, high blood pressure, heart issues, obesity and a whole slew of other avoidable illness if they weren’t addicted? Or maybe they just aren’t educated to know better?

Money is one obvious obstacle. How sad is it that its cheaper to eat a 99 cent fried 5 piece of processed chicken than to eat a real piece of grilled chicken? Have you ever tried to grocery shop at Whole Foods Market? The food, especially the meat, looks so much better than other grocery stores, but the price tag is often twice as much! Can a family of 5 even afford to eat healthy in hard economic times like these? I’ve cried several times at the checkout line looking at the rising total.

I feel overwhelmed when I watch this show, and sad. My face crumples when the 17 year old girl tells the story of her grandparents dying of weight issues, her parents suffering from type 2 diabetes, as well as her 13 year old sister, and their eating habits at home still haven’t changed. Why are we continuing to kill ourselves and our children? And why does the government and institutions such as school districts not only allow it to happen, but fight a revolution that is trying to improve the health of many?

It’s a touchy subject, even in my own family. People get pissed when they perceive your desire for improved heath as an attack on their way of life. I suppose some of Jaime Oliver’s opposition on the show is so stubborn because they resent someone coming in and telling them their way is ‘wrong’. But shouldn’t schools of all places opt for food that will enhance the wellness of their children, not contribute to the disease that runs rampant in our society?

I’ve lost relationships with some of my own family members over my pursuit of a healthier lifestyle because they suddenly think I am judging them or talking down to them. Or that I think I am better than them because I am trying to eat better and raise my children to break the pattern of obesity that dominates both sides of my genetic pool. I realize their attacks on me are just a defense mechanism because by drawing attention to the positive changes in my own life it forces them to examine their own painful habits and addictions. I am not judging or criticizing your lunch choice, I am begging for your awakening so you will be around for the birth of your own grandchildren.

I am not trying to take away all your pleasure in life by replacing your pasta recipe with spaghetti squash; I am attempting to create a tiny shift in your taste preferences that can benefit your health! What I want to say sometimes is, “You do realize I am saying all this as a fat person, right?” I’m not some 100 lb fitness expert talking down from a yoga mat.

Even with my recent loss of ‘pregnancy weight’ I weighed this much all on my own before having children to blame it on and probably still technically, medically fall into the ‘morbidly obese’ category, or at the least have been there before.

I know better than anyone where they are coming from and it’s a hard, fucked up place to exist in. But there is light on the other side of the scale and I want to help lead them to it!
I know the struggle. I fight it everyday, even with all my recent diet and weight loss ‘successes’. All my indignation comes from a place of love because I’ve climbed that mountain of mashed potatoes and gravy and I see the valley of veggies down below, and you know what? They taste good! I am satisfied with what I eat.

When people hear I am doing a 30 or 90 Day Challenge, or eating Paleo, they say, “Oh Leah’s on that diet where she can’t eat anything again!”

No, actually I am living a lifestyle where I get to eat delicious, fresh food I usually prepare so I know what’s in the fuel I am feeding my body. I feel great! I feel so good physically, but more importantly emotionally and psychologically that I can’t help but to spread the gospel of greens and almond milk and avocados! I know how hard it is to abstain from Oreo cookies and sweets in general. But as time goes by and my new positive, beneficial eating habits replace a lifetime of sabotaging ones, it gets easier to say no to the cheese sauce on my broccoli and pass on demolishing the bread basket.

I see all the people trying to fight a man doing a TV show about a food revolution and I relate to the resistance I face on a daily basis in my own life and family. As my face crumples over the sadness of a 17 year old who has resigned herself to an unavoidable life suffering with a disease she doesn’t have yet, but knows if she doesn’t make a change that she will follow in the footsteps of her family, I relate to the feeling of hopelessness.

How many times have I thought and felt in my life, “Oh well, I guess I’m just gonna be fat forever…..”

My 2 year old daughter’s faces scrunch up with confusion, mirroring my emotions. They don’t know whether they should cry too. Twin pools of innocence starring at me for guidance, so I smile and say, “Its OK babies, Mommy promises to fight. I will fight for you always.”

I promise out loud to give everything in me to lead by example that food is not the enemy, and neither are we. I promise to provide them with a healthy way of life with the hope their unavoidable struggles in life will not be the same ones that have plagued our families for generations. My husband and I toast ourselves often for breaking the patterns and cycles instilled in us. So I flip the switch inside as most mothers often do and smile through my sadness and tears.

When I smile, they smile.

I pray such influence is everlasting, or at least ingrained enough so that when they are old enough to fight their own battles, they are a force to be reckoned with because of the strength and confidence I have instilled in them.

New House,

New Dawn, New Day,

for Change

What a beautiful day!

Bless my husband for taking all 3 kids away on a Bass Pro adventure and leaving me ALL ALONE to experience the unexplored newness of our new house and prowl the neighborhood taking in such a spectacular spring day!

Ever notice how bright the sun shines, how intensely the colors of the world explode against each other when you’re in a good mood? And how on the down days, depression seems to tint the world grey no matter the season or weather?

I am excited and appreciative after a few minutes akin to panic over not knowing what to do with myself without tending to the constant wants and needs of 3 little ones at any given time! I decide to let the dishes ride and boxes sit while I lie on the couch and do absolutely nothing.

I enjoy a few chapters of ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’ (seemed appropriate!) when suddenly I am struck with the desire to MOVE! It’s kind of a chilly day despite the sunshine and blue skies, so I shed the blanket and take off into uncharted territory to check out my new surroundings.

At my old house I knew every nook and cranny of that neighborhood. Countless days and nights were spent roaming the streets and woods as kids on bikes or go carts. Just as many hours as a teenager were spent scouting spots to get high or ‘get low’ without anybody knowing. (I knew them all! Haha Good times….)

I also knew all the neighbors or at least enough of a majority to feel safe and secure with my doors unlocked half the time. (I know, I know…. didn’t I learn my lesson that nowhere these days is safe when that man got shot in my yard by the police my junior year in high school? Or how about when my car got broken into the 1st week we moved back in a few years ago!?)

I am motivated and excited for another reason; the promise of a new phase of my fitness journey is fresh and unexpected excitement takes over my mind.

That Jennifer Hudson commercial sings in my head, “It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day….”

Bring it on, CHANGE!

Overcoming Food Addiction

One

Bite

at

a

Time

I celebrate so many ‘Small Victories’ each day I sometimes don’t stop to even celebrate them anymore. Not that they aren’t important or relevant to my evolutionary progress, but its gotten increasingly easier to buy and serve strawberry cheesecake ice-cream to my family without wanting or needing to lick the spoon so bad it almost physically hurts.

Am I overcoming my own food addictions? YES! Finally! And it feels great.

I can go to resteraunts like Frisch’s Big Boy with my kids and eat a delicious dinner of spinach salad with hard boiled eggs, jalapenos, and sunflower seed (not even any dressings or oil!) and enjoy it without feigning for something fried or drooling over the hot fudge cake sundae advertisement staring and wearing me down. The fresh pineapple and honeydew off the salad bar was perfect for dessert!

Go me!

I’m not even halfway though our latest 90 Day Paleo Nutrition Challenge and as I listen to the despair and struggle of some other participants at the beginning of their journey I just want them to know if they just stick it out and persevere, it DOES get easier.

I mean, I can cook a Taco Salad dinner with ground turkey, tomatoes, avocado, onions, green peppers and crunch up tortilla chips for everyone else and enjoy just the crunch of my own lettuce wrap. I’ve even converted one of the twins (guess which!) over to a salad eater. It’s fulfilling and satisfying to cook a meal for my entire family that we can all enjoy together that is good for them.

The continual transformation of my body motivates me as well, down 13 more lbs as of my first weigh in 2 weeks ago at the one month mark. Also that puts me at crunch time for my 30th B-day countdown goal less than a month away of shedding all this ‘baby weight’ gained during the gestation of 3 babies over the past 2 years. I am 12 lbs away to hitting my pre-pregnancy/wedding weight. I got this!

Plus I’ve taken a break from my beloved Boot camp regimen in favor of personal training with another MaxFit trainer who has been sculpting my ass into better shape these past 6 weeks. (Thanks Dwain!) I feel great. The 1-on-1 setting made me notice how maybe I’ve been slacking during Boot camp and not pushing myself as hard as I do in a tailored workout just for me.

But the best news of all…… NO BACK PAIN!

I feel like a new woman, or at least a very pretty butterfly emerging from a hazy, confused yet comforting cocoon. I imagine the transformation from a caterpillar to butterfly hurts a little, breaking free from a womb of familiarity, even if it wasn’t so great in there, to thrust yourself into a world full of unknowns.

Let me tell you, the view out here is amazing.

Leah Haters

How come the more you surround yourself with positive energy and people, the more the haters seem to come out of the woodwork? Don’t sweat me and what I got, get your own! Don’t rain on my parade cause your float sucks! Go ahead, copy mine if you like it so much and make yourself a new one!

Jealousy is a sad emotion really, and doesn’t look flattering on anyone. I learned from one of my books that maybe not everyone is as excited about my positive changes lately because it reminds them of their unhappiness or that you have what they what.

When you see someone with something you desire, don’t feel jealous and envious of that person….Feel happy for them! Genuinely, truly happy and joyous for them, not sad or sulky cause what you want is currently present in their life. Send them thoughts of love and excitement for their achievements and blessing as if they were your own and that’s what will come back to you!

The Awakening

All I remember about Kate Chopin’s version of the classic novel The Awakening is it being a sad tale of a mother who walks into the water at the end of the story and kills herself. What’s so great about an ‘awakening’ like that?

As I near the landmark milestone of my 30th birthday, I find all kinds of subtle and not-so subtle changes happening all around me, within me, to me, for me, by me. My own personal ‘Awakening’ looks nothing like the famous version, but is filled with light and hope and knowledge and a better understanding of just exactly who I am and why I am they way I am.

I didn’t stumble upon all these realizations just fumbling through the daily grind with my eyes closed, in the dark, just doing what needed to be done to survive. I feel like I have been operating on that mode for a while now. I grew tired of that exhausting existence and consciously, purposefully went searching for answers to the questions that have been taunting and haunting me for… well, forever.

Why do I always seem to self sabotage myself?

With weight? My career, losing out on jobs I wanted and got so close to but never materialized? Friendships I was on the verge of forging but fell short of making long term connections last? Great ideas I had and would get all excited over and then let fade into nothingness because I talked myself out of thinking they were great or that they were too unrealistic to even pursue?

My whole entire life I seem to have gotten caught up on the ‘how’ of making things happens, instead of simply just focusing on making them happen! I’ve always thought of myself as an optimistic person. A favorite phase of mine has always been ‘Never underestimating the power of positive thinking’ but I rarely took it a step further! I see now believing is just the beginning of making all the things you ever dreamed of happen.

Dreams come true when you venture out beyond belief.

One of my new favorite pastimes is reviving my usage of the library. My LFPL card has been scanned more times in the past months than in the past decade! How did I let that happen!?

As a child/pre-teen I vividly remember making my mom take me to the library on a weekly basis where I would check out as many books as they’d let me, like 13 at a time, and passionalty read through them back-to-back-to-back until it was time to re-up my stash. Oh how good it feels to be among the stacks of knowledge, entertainment, escape, and possibility that lie within the rows and rows of books!

It started one day on a whim to stop by the Fern Creek branch after a grocery run to check on the availability of a Paleo cookbook I have been searching for. I searched the food section with no avail and wondered over to the self help shelves. I scanned the titles aimlessly, laughing at the absurdity of some, until my eyes stopped upon a small book, red with ancient looking text calling out to me.

I selected ‘The Secret’ simply because I remember a show about it on Oprah and where everyone on there seemed so excited to share their ‘secret’ knowledge. I flipped through the pages and saw lots of quotes by famous people from the past. Tidbits of positivity leapt off the page and piqued my interest and I was sold.

I read the entire book in a day and a half. Some sections were already high lighted and even though it was a library book, I found myself busting out my pink high lighter and marking passages that moved me. There were many.

The Law of Attraction, what a powerful force to tap into and use in daily life! Why doesn’t everybody practice this!? I guess one would have to begin with believing in order to see results, but if even if the theory weren’t true that you attract whatever energy you put out, what’s the harm in trying?

I began testing the theories and almost immediately the universe began to align itself with my thoughts and desires. Ask and ye shall receive! I found many things and thoughts in my own head I already knew to be true were validated and expanded on in this book.

My excitement was so contagious I got my husband to read the book and within a few days we were having little ‘Bible Studies’ together at night sharing sections we liked and what they meant to us and how to apply all the positive energy and goodness into our lives. He was just as amazed as I was when IT WORKED. Immediately.

People we thought about or talked about called or showed up on our door. Objects or other things we wanted were suddenly made available. Money began to flow into our lives easy and effortlessly. That was one of our pet phrases. We wrote down quotes, affirmations, daily mantras on sticky notes and posted them in our car, throughout the pages of our calendars and agenda, on mirrors. We said them to each other and sat back and watched the magic happen.

Any chance I got, I trolled the book section at the grocery, Half Priced Books, Meijer for titles that jumped out at me or called me with the promise of an inner message meant just for me. I found it everywhere I looked. ‘Self help’ book after book breaking down the inner workings of my mind and heart in ways I had only once dreamed of exploring.

I found another moving book called ‘Negaholics’ that got me so excited I began to get on people’s nerves with my positivity and desire to share my new found knowledge of the secrets of the mind and universe. This book was if someone had written a Bible for me on understanding why my mind tended to work the way it did, years of worry and anxiety, crazy thoughts of my loved ones dying and doom and gloom for days, suddenly explained.
Author Cherie Carter-Scott provided a remedy for that negative line of thinking and living that when applying to my life, ACTUALLY worked! How awesome and amazing is that?

So as I celebrate the milestone marker of entering the typical ‘mid-life’ decade of my life, I welcome my personal awakening.

When I stand at the shoreline with water lapping around my ankles, I look forward to floating amidst the gentle waves. And when the tide turns a little rough, Mother Nature ain’t got shit on my swimming skills. There’s no more sinking into the black abyss for me.

Progress

Boot Camp never gets easy. I've been going at it for a year and a half now and I have never in that amount of time described it as ‘easy’. I get discouraged at the pace of my progress sometimes, which just means I need to go harder.

Tonight I was surprised at a sign of positive progression. It has been around 6 months since I did a side plank. It wasn’t until I went to balance the weight of my body up on my elbow tonight and I realized my ass rose off the ground with ease that I remembered struggling with this particular exercise. I vividly remember being in the old MaxFit Boot Camp building, an early morning battle to balance on one elbow without tipping over. Mainly I remember saying out loud with genuine frustration, “I just can’t get my ass off the ground!!!!” Literally. I couldn’t lift my ass and thighs even and inch up off the ground.
Tonight I rose up on that elbow and swear I felt a breeze between my ass and the ground. An unexpected physical manifestation of progress right before my eyes. OK, so I was balancing from the sides of my knees and not my ankles. My thighs were still brushing the floor a little at times, my arm got to shaking, and I weeble-wobbled….

but I didn’t fall down.

So it’s been 28 days since the end of my 28 Day Challenge. I wish it were still going on, I do so much better when forced discipline is involved. I lost 12 pounds, but what I gained was way more important. I continue to learn and grow from the experience. The main lesson is what a difference following a REAL diet does for your body.

I’m not talking some fad ‘diet’ filled with low fat, low carb, low cal, grapefruit, cabbage soup, Atkins, or Weight Watcher Points system that allows you to eat as much of the things you like in order to maintain or lose a few pounds here and there. I’m talking a ‘diet’ in the real sense of the word filled with fresh foods not man made or found in packages. Not counting calories, fat grams, or protein, just eating what your body actually needs to be nourished.

I’ve never seen these kinds of results. I have done every one of the afore mentioned ‘diets’ before and had ‘success’ on many of them… for a while. Then I would always revert back to my old eating habits and patterns and would gain back everything I lost plus more. A never ending cycle I am destroying so the pattern is not passed down another generation.

This is important to me. The crux of why I am doing what I am doing and succeeding this time. That is not to say I still don’t struggle, every single day, but I have a main mission and I am dedicated to making my vision a reality. I want my kids to have a chance at not being overweight.

People think I am crazy. Most my family and friends are annoyed by my new habits and all the change. I am confused by this. Why wouldn’t people want me to be happy, healthier? Then I realized it’s not about me, but them. They are still stuck in their addictions and me addressing mine forces then to think about (or not think about) theirs and that makes them resentful. It’s hurtful sometimes.

What annoys me most is when I try to spread the good word and tell people about how they can make changes in their life to accomplish what they say they want and I am met with nothing but opposition and negativity. Tons of ‘I could never do that’ or ‘I’m not giving up my salt or coffee or Cokes.’ Really? Those things are more important to you than your happiness, than your life? Cause I am fighting for my life here and I just want some more soldiers in my ranks.

I feel SO GOOD about what I am doing I want to share it with everybody. Don’t they see I was once just like them and I overcame the same exact obstacles they face? So if I can do it, so can they! People say ‘I am just not as strong as you’ and I just don’t believe it. They are, they just don’t want to step up and do what is required for real change.

All the excuses! An excuse is an excuse is an excuse. I worked for a company when I was a teenager that was very influential in my life and taught me there is a difference between a ‘reason’ and an ‘excuse’ so I strive in my life to not make excuses. If there is a legit reason why I can’t do something, well then I will just keep working on a solution until I get what I want. I’m not a quitter, I don’t give up. I might get delayed or derailed, but I always get what I want because I accept no less. And if I can’t make something happen, well then I must not have really wanted it in the first place.


I am tired hearing people complain about how they are sick of being fat or their diet is not working for them or they are exercising all the time with no results or are in pain all day everyday. Them when I try to offer them a solution, its nothing but negativity right off the bat. It’s like people aren’t even open change, so stop complaining about it. If you really want to succeed, you must be willing to sacrifice. If you are not at that point yet, if your pain threshold has not been reached, then you can just continue about your daily misery, but I don’t want to hear about it.

I want to help you.

I want others to see the realm of what is possible, not be put off by my suggestion that their lives can be better, like I am speaking from a soap box. Don’t you see we are in the same battle? Can’t you save yourself some of the pain I went though and just skip over that part and start making things better now instead of suffering even more when the answer is just right in front of you for the taking?

I guess not. I know people have to fight their own battles, but I wish I could just take all of you on my back and trudge through the desert of despair to the river of hope and toss your ass in.

I do Boot Camp, I am strong enough. And you could be too.

Sometimes on Saturday afternoons I prowl the house while my family naps and I’m tired too, but there’s too much to do and I drank too much coffee, so I stare at each of you and thank God for the simple blessings of sweet, sleeping children and hushed husbands who aren’t complaining about the dishes or kicking toys to make a path to walk.

I whisper softly how much I love them, knowing they will probably never know. I watch Grey’s Anatomy on the DVR and cry over fictitional storylines when my storyline rivals TV’s best in the best of way possible.

When all my days are as spent as my energy level, I try to never forget nothing else matters more than the in and out of your breath and smiles on your face. We see a lot of smiles around here and do a lot of kissing and I hope that never changes, even though years of adolescent torture on my part that are bound to come.

I pray what we’ve found in our little piece of reality heaven stays like this forever.

Super Couple:

Kenny and Leah (by the numbers)

Looks can be deceiving. People see our pictures circa 2010, happy family 5 deep filled with smiling babies, loving parents and some may think, “Wow they have it all!’

What people fail to realize is having it all comes with a price. Before there was a Super MOM or Super Ken, we called ourselves a Super Couple. We are one of those rare couples who survive and are greatful for it. Years of tears and sacrifice are behind those smiles. We fought hard for what we have now and never gave up.

That’s how you gain Super Couple status. I heard a very old married couple say the secret to their successful marriage was they never fell out of love with each other at the same time. The key to a happy marriage is even when it hurts, even if you don’t always like each other, even if you have ever questioned if love is enough… never give up.

Here’s a run down of Kenny & Leah by the numbers:

Years together: 11
Years married: 4
Met: January 6th 2000
Couple since: February 2000
Age Leah was: 18
Age Kenny was: 27
Age difference: 9 (physically, 0 mentally haha)
First Date: Spring 2000 U of L Jazz Ensemble
Moved in together: Summer 2001
Engaged: December 2001
Married: December 30th, 2006
Number of wedding dates set before it actually happened: 5
Number of wedding dresses purchased: 2
Number of nephews born on our wedding day: 1
Number of couples therapists/marriage counselors visited over the years: 3
Number of break-ups: 1
Duration: 3-6 months
Longest time lapsed without contact: 1 long, lonely, painfully miserable month
Number of times Kenny proposed: 1
Number of times Leah proposed: 1
Number of Leah’s Engagement rings: 2 in 11 years (upgraded as of this Christmas!)
Number of Kenny’s wedding rings: 2 in less than 2 years (claims he lost it fishing… things that make you go hhmmmm)
Number of Children: 3
Number of pregnancies: 2 (in less than two years…twins!)
Number of car accidents together: 3
Number of crazy ex-girlfriends Leah punched in the club: 1
Number of cities visited on vacation: 20 (Windsor, Canada. Maumee Bay, OH. Philadelphia, PA. St. Petersburg Beach, FL. St. Augustine, FL. Miami, FL. Key West, FL. Tell City, IN. Birmingham, AL. Gulf Shores, AL. Chicago, IL. Some locations multiple times: Gatlingurg, TN. Indianapolis, IN. Columbus, GA. Memphis, TN. Honolulu, HI. Some never again: Bilouxi, MS. Playa del Carmen, Mexico. All but 2 before children: Nashville, TN. Cincinatti, OH LOL)

I promise to scan proof of all this and post old pictures of us someday. Until then, here’s happy Kenny & Leah celebrating Christmas and her first wedding ring upgrade. (He always did know how to decorate a gal, the emerald & diamond necklace I am wearing was a Christmas gift from 2006 the year we got married and gave me a beautiful charm bracelet for our Anniversary this year. Bonus points!)

And us celebrating our 4 year anniversary at Sake Blue with the hope of many more...

Merry Christmas 2010

from

The Thompson Family

I called my good friend I hadn’t talked to in a while to help me get through the daunting task of washing dishes and we ended up balling on the phone for 20 minutes over her daughter growing up! When my friend took her 12 year old daughter’s phone away, the pre-teen told her mom, “She ruins everything in her life!” And my friend spends the next two hours crying in her basement because her daughter broke her heart for the first time.

At first I was laughing at the comedy of it all. Didn’t she know girls that age are dramatic and over exaggerate everything? And she was bound to grow up someday. So when she started telling about how she must just be emotional over looking through old pictures of her baby girl with Santa and followed by being faced with reality that her kid being more of an emerging adult than an infant, it hit me.

Oh shit, that’s gonna be my baby girl before I know it, crying in the closet cause her boyfriend broke up with her and getting in fights on the bus and becoming boy crazy. I thought about how not half an hour before I had just been holding a fussy Carly in my arms in the light of the Christmas tree, half annoyed at the dish cleaning interruption, when I took a breath and inhaled her baby fresh scent and pressed my face to hers and wanted the moment burnt in time forever because I knew life was racing away with my memories. Moments like that were fleeting. I thanked God and the universe for allowing me to create something so special and I let those dishes sit there for just a while longer.

May my sweet babies always be like this in my hearts and my life....

Small Victories Part II

I’m celebrating some more ‘small victories’ as their called in our 28 Day Challenge handbook. They may sound easy or small to many, but to me, some of the things on this list of accomplishments are MONUMENTAL. I am very proud of myself and this week has been easier so far, 10 days left!!! (Still counting down to coffee and Captain Morgan’s though!)

• I bought a pair of new work out pants a size smaller than my old ones were! YES!
  
• I went to a Christmas party I had been dreading because of all the delicious food, but I abstained from eating or drinking anything! Ate salmon and veggies before I went and it was no problem at all. Even fed the girls cake without licking the fork or picking at the crumbs (haha). The build up and worry in my mind was much worse than the actual event. I was happy to spend time with my family on a beautiful, snowy afternoon. Piece of cake! My girls may have been a little traumatized from the Santa visit, but on the victory front my new sweater I just bought a month or so ago was so loose now that my boobs kinda kept falling out!

• My Mom returned from her annual cookie exchange party with a shopping bag full of sweet treats and I didn’t sample a single one. Go me!
  


• Here’s the biggie…. We didn’t have the kids for a night and had big sober plans. Dinner at Ruby Tuesday salad bar, a movie. Mother Nature had different plans and started dumping her mini-snow storm right as we dropped the kids off. It was my idea. I was feeling strong and confident after my success at the Christmas party. “Ruby Tuesday is too far away. Let’s just go to Ryan’s Buffet…” Normally a major over eating danger zone, I stuck to my diet no problem. Salad with tons of veggies and no dressing, small steak, cabbage, half a sweet potato, and fresh pineapple for dessert. It was fulfilling and my wonderful husband even hung back as I raced to make my salad to ask the waitress to not bring any rolls so I wouldn’t have to stare at them through dinner. What a man.
  
  WHAT A VICTORY!!!!

Celebrate Small Victories

Instead of focusing on how bad I want the things I cannot have or making me feel bad for eating the leftover pizza scraps off my kid’s plate or having that bite of stuffing the day after Thanksgiving, I repeat my victories in my head.

They may not look like much to the untrained eye, but believe me each was a battle fought hard and WON!

• I held an Krispy Kreme donut in my hand and fed my kids WITHOUT even licking my fingers
  
• I went to a party and didn’t drink any alcohol or eat any food I wasn’t supposed to have…. and I had FUN!
  
• I went out to eat at a restaurant and didn’t touch the delicious smelling bread with the temptress oils and cheese for dipping. I ordered a salmon salad over pasta at a past place….. and it was truly DELECIOUS.
  
• I ate a Challenge approved Holiday dinner consisting of a salad, small piece of steak, green beans, cauliflower, sweet potato and lobster...... WITHOUT and butter!
  
• I didn’t eat a brownie for dessert, even after cutting them and serving them to the kids. I ate apple slices instead.
  
• I have passed up coffee every single day when my husband has the house smelling so good.
  
• I went through a drive thru and ordered food for the entire car without ordering anything but water for myself because I had already eaten a really good turkey and avocado Ezekiel wrap for dinner.
  
• I went to Midnight Boot camp on Thanksgiving when technically it was my last night before the Challenge and I could have stuffed myself silly and drank Wild Turkey all night with the family.
  
• I went for 45 minute walks outside both in the cold dark and during snow flurries just so I didn’t feel guiltily about not getting my exercise in.
  
• I also went to the YMCA in the pouring rain late at night before they closed when I would have rather stayed tucked up in my warm bed.
  
• I got up early on a Saturday when everybody in my house was temporarily inconvenienced by my absence to attend the 7:00am Challenge meeting and 9:00am Co-Ed Boot Camp…. and I was so happy I did. It was a wonderfully inspiring meeting and kick ass workout. My day couldn’t have started out better even if I had gotten to sleep in!
  
• I found an old Kit Kat from Halloween in my couch and didn’t eat it.
  
• I am able to comfortably wear clothes that were too tight just one week ago!
  My Dad has been going strong for over a week now, even shopping for fresh food he likes and skipping sweets. My Mom is even more considerate to what we’re trying to do, planning the afore mentioned Holiday Dinner menu for us.
  
• I didn’t get any popcorn, nachos, or mixed drinks while attending a concert at the awesome YUM Center.

Day 5 and FINALLY feeling better!

My energy has kicked in. I spent the day preparing meals and I felt hopeful and more importantly full. I can do this, I am doing this. I ask myself 'Why' less and less.

What a damning word, I am learning to ask myself better questions to get better results, thanks to my newfound Tony Robbins training. His books are awesome, I am improving my thought process everyday.

How great it feels to be moving towards a positive goal that moves me closer to what I want in life versus remaining stagnant or even worse back tracking!

It’s Day 4 of the 28 Day Challenge. 1/7th of the way complete. Everyday I ask myself “Why are you doing this?”

Simple answer is I need to lose the weight back that I have gained since my back injury put me out of Boot Camp on a regular basis. I tried returning a few times and though it felt good mentally to be there with my friends and support group, physically I think the workout is still to taxing on my healing back. Not to mention the car accident a week ago that has re-aggravated my back and now neck. Sigh.

But I don’t let these things get me down. I decide to take an alternate route to reach my goals. I am 5 months away form my 30th birthday and not quite yet to my goal of being ‘the healthiest I have ever been in my life.’ Close, but not quite there. I am hoping the 28 Day Challenge will give me the boost I need to start 2011 off right and continue to work hard throughout the remainder of my 20’s.

I told my trainer Kyle I started 2010 off strong and wanted to end it with a bang and he presented me with the following 28 Day Challenge:

The Challenge
· Cut out all processed foods. Eat real food for 28 days
· Cut out all added sugar and artificial sugars
· Cut out all dairy
· Cut out all grains, even whole grains
· Cut out White Potatoes
· Cut out all protein powders, pre packed snacks, protein bars
· Be active 45 minutes per day
· Cut out all Negative thoughts and replace by Positive thoughts
· Cut out all Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol or Other Bad Habits
· Keep a daily Food Journal and Personal Journal
· NO CHEATING. 1 BITE or 1 SIP is considered cheating.

So far, no caffeine or alcohol is hardest. Plus, doesn’t knowing you “can’t” have something automatically make you “want” it even more???

The Challenge is all about breaking habits, even ones you didn’t realize you had. I knew I had become a coffee drinker over the past year or so since the girls were born. It began out of desperation to stay awake, create more energy through the endless days and nights of breastfeeding twins and simultaneously chasing around a 1 year old. Then my cappuccino habit escalated to full blown coffee addiction. Fancy iced drinks from Starbucks and McDonald’s became expensive, so I started doctoring up my own from home. Yummy they tasted good and provided the much needed caffeine.

Before I even knew it, we had a pot of coffee on pretty much 24/7. It wasn’t unusual for us to drain a pot in the evening and start a fresh one. When an unlimited supply of coffee began not doing the trick, I strayed to caffeine pills here and there. Wow, now I really am becoming more and more like my mom! Her feet don’t hit the floor before she’s popping a pill.

So far in the Challenge, I’ve realized other coffee habits. When out shopping, I always get a coffee. When it’s cold, I always stop and buy a coffee. If I am out running errands alone, I treat myself to a coffee. Interesting.

So far, the food part of it hasn’t been that bad. I did a similar diet to this at the beginning of the year when I lost 20 lbs in the first phase of Boot Camp. The most common response when people read the list of things we are eliminating is ‘So what CAN you eat?’ and there’s actually a long list of really good fresh foods, it just takes planning.

But right now, I still feel like it sucks. Not drinking sucks, though I did go to a birthday party over the weekend with another person doing the Challenge and had a really good time sober, so it is possible. But I would have much rather been drinking whiskey and coke with my husband or taking Apple Rum shots! Does that make me a bad person? An alcoholic? Guess it depends who you’re asking!

The point of this whole thing is to learn about yourself and eliminate negativity from your life. I am curious to see what else I learn in the process, as well as continue to drop the pounds. I am STILL fighting the last stubborn remnants of my baby weight, but I also have a ways to go once I reach that goal. I was within 7 lbs away just a mere few months ago before that damn back injury, but now I feel like I am fighting to lose the same weight over and over again. Story of my life.

By my birthday my husband said we’ll get me down to my ‘fighting weight’ but the sad thing is I don’t even know what that is. I have been overweight so long, yo-yoing back and forth my whole life that even when I was at my lightest weight wise, I was terribly sick from malnutrition and all the other horrible things I was putting my body through.

At least I know this time A) I can lose weight and B) The way in which I lose it is beneficial not detrimental to my body and self. A good friend always says ‘this is the only body you have.’ It feels good to treat it better, no matter what my evil ego says to contradict that.

'Guess who’s back in the motherfucking house….!'

A little Snoop Dogg to start the day never hurt anybody.

I'm happy today.

It’s the start of Phase 9 Boot Camp and I made a mini- comeback. It’s a new house we rocked this morning, breaking in the new Maximum Fitness location with our sweat and swagger. We are some Bad Ass bitches.

I never thought I would be a part of something like this. I wish people understood how hard these women work out. There's no feeling in the world that compares to the adrenaline and energy of 30+ women working together for a common goal. I'm sure there are varying reasons and desires behind each person's motivation to get up at 4 something in the morning to work out for 45 minutes before the start of a long day, but we do it and do it well.

It feels good to be back. I considered staying in bed when the alarm went off. I've been off for 3 months now nursing the bulged disk back to health. It was a rough time for me, and not just because the pain. The psychological effect of being away from my most favorite addiction took its toll. I've gained over 10lbs, but that will be gone in a week. No sweat. haha

I started last month attending a few sessions and was pleased to walk away sore, but not in pain. My back is finally better. I can do normal daily activities without being in pain, like tie my shoes, bend over to change diapers, pick up my kids again without wincing.

What a miserable existence to be in pain all day every day. I come away from this experience grateful for the body I have and vowing to take better care of it.

That started today. I am still sick, sinus bullshit that never clears completely. Pink eye that has been lingering for over a month! I was tired and worn out when I walked through the new glass doors this morning, but happy and surprised to walk out of them feeling accomplished and blessed to be there to fight another day.

Sure I still modify some of the exercises that require too much back usage. Sure people look at me crazy when I am doing a totally different exercise than everybody else at some stations, but so what. I am there.

I was back to using my anger as motivation to fight harder, keep going, don't give up.

It was back to 'Fuck cancer. Fuck my back injury.'

Lots of ‘f-bombs’ today people, so sorry if you’re all holy moly, but I find cussing effective at times. And whoever said people use cuss words because they don’t know a better ones don’t know me cause my vocab is expenentular. (ahahaha I just made that one up!)

Anyways, I’m in a happy silly mood today, so get over yourselves and join in. It’s also very effective for me to channel my anger in exercise. Last year when I began this Boot Camp journey I was cursing my uncle’s brain tumor and my son’s bone infection in his spine. Today I was damning my aunt’s breast cancer and beating my own back injury into a metaphorical submission.

If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

See you Wednesday!

I Shall Not Want

There's something sickening about seeing or listening to someone you love in pain, moaning audibly in the night. Or self destructing right before your eyes and there's nothing you can do to help. You can't make their stomach virus pass any faster or provide comfort while they're puking and pooping at the same time.

How do you stop a bomb from exploding when the flame has already been ignited?

Can we ever do enough to help the ones we love?

Like our children, we sacrifice beyond their comprehension and they still grow up and shun our love and roll they eyes and not want to cuddle and kiss anymore. Our parent think they will always know it all because, well they're our parents, but what about when we're right for once and they won't listen?

What lines are you willing to cross to save someone you love?

My Mom is moaning in the other room from a stomach virus me and my germy children more than likely passed her. My Dad is in a philosophical mood, interrupting my Facebooking to ask how far back I remember my childhood, telling me stories I've never heard from before I was born and quoting the bible.

"The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want..."

My Dad quoting the bible. It’s a weird night in the Bomar/Thompson household.

I love them so much sometimes it hurts.

Wedding Success

The hot ass bridal party ain't got nothing on these two in the cute department.....

They did it!!! My soon-to-be 3 year old escorted me and my 18 month old twins down the aisle! An ear infection (Bryce), pink eye (Carly), and a major potential wardrobe malfunction on Mom didn’t even slow our row!

I never knew there was seriously such a thing as a ‘wardrobe malfunction’. I always just thought Janet did it for the publicity, but now I know 1st hand that shit can happen! Right as we were to exit the country club doors out to the pavilion, all eyes on me….SNAP!

The clasp on the top of my halter dress popped open! My straps stayed up as I held a baby’s hand in each of mine and prayed, “Please don’t fall! Please don’t fall!” A double prayer request for the kids to keep on walking so I didn’t have to bend over and pick up one, a la disastrous rehearsal dinner and another prayer more than anything that the top of my dress would stay in place!

It did. All was well by the time we reached the altar as my husband whisked them away safely in doors, while I worked on expanding the blister on my right toe and tanning my back and shoulders in the late evening sun.

It was a beautiful wedding an awesome reception. The kids danced circles around the place. My heart was filled with pride. In a house filled with beauty, they took the cake... And then got sent home with GaGa & PaPa so the alcohol could flow freely. We backed it up on the dance floor all night, bribing the DJ for an extra set and popping another keg. The party rocked on till the country club kicked us out.


I’d call that a success. One more wedding in my ‘Summer of Love’. 4 weddings in one season are a lot right? Especially when two of them are for my best friend’s who are sisters and getting married 6 weeks apart? That’s a lot of showers, bacheloretting and wedding planning! (People must have been thinking the same thing about me and all my showers and celebrating when I got married and had three babies in the span of 2 years!!!! hahaha)

I am in my element. I am happy to not be pregnant and enjoy the happiness of the ones I love. Tripod for life! :)


Pretty, Prettier, Prettiest!

Thompson Family Portrait