I feels really good to go shopping for clothes and when you try them on, they actually fit. And you don't immediately want to cry when you look in the mirror. I am down two sizes in the past six months. I will have to buy a whole new wardrobe for summer, but I might as well wait a little longer because at this rate I will be down another size soon!

I have never felt better in my life. Not physically or emotionally. I was worried about what life would be like after I had the twins. I had been off anti-depressants during the pregnancy and didn't want to start back after I had the babies because I was breastfeeding.

Yes, I fed them both at the same time, God gave us multiple boobs for more than symmetry! It was an awesome experience this time around, unlike the previous attempt with my son. No one tells you its not easy, they let you believe in the facade that breastfeeding a baby is the most natural thing in the world and its not. Not only does it HURT, but it requires hard work and commitment a lot of new mothers don't have the energy or desire for.

I knew it would be stressful having three babies under 2 years old. It's harder than you can even imagine, and most people imagine it pretty bad. Plus I am prone to depression, I'm afraid it runs in my blood and I just pray I didn't pass those genes on to them. How was I going to survive???

When people say to me, 'I just don't know how you do it.' I always respond, 'I just do it.' Give me a freaking Nike endorsement.

When the babies were three months old and I started going to Bootcamp, I couldn't do even half the exercises. Literally. I couldn't do Jumping Jacks because anything requiring me to jump made my aching boobs hurt even worse. I already had to worry about them leaking all over my shirt, how embarrassing is that? I couldn't run or even do a crunch. But I kept moving, I pushing myself closer towards the image of myself I had in my head, not the hot mess I saw in the mirror.

I had no idea half a year later I would still be here. I am not afraid of the mirror anymore, or the scale. My boobs don't hurt anymore and the only think soaking my shirt is sweat. I can hang with the crowd and people draw inspiration from me. Me!

One of the awesome trainers at MaxFit gave me a card at the end of Phase 1 Bootcamp congratulating me on my hard work. I was honored she noticed and took the time out to do that because I often modeled myself after her, copying her form, keeping her pace.

The card hangs on my refrigerator and everyday when I open that door and I am faced with a choice that is going to bring me closer or further away from my goals, I am reminded, "You are an example of what it takes to succeed.' And the choice gets easier and easier everyday.

Finally another 3lbs off! My body has not been as generous on the scale during Phase 2 Bootcamp. I know I should be happy with the 22 lbs I lost the first month, but I had it in my head I was going to do it again!

If I lost another 20 lbs, that would mean ALL my baby weight would be off and I would weigh what I did when I got married and I remember being pretty happy with myself then. It wasn't my all time lowest weight, but I was healthy and happy and I would take it.
-------------->
2007
Me on my honeymoon in Miami!
(Pre-kids all time happiest)



<---------------
2005
Me at my UL
Graduation Party

(All time lowest weight)

So it was kind of disappointing the first week going by without losing a single pound. I was working just as hard, eating well, sticking to the diet. I wasn’t complaining because I know how my body is, I drop a lot of weight real fast, and then I plateau. If I keep working I drop more fast again, then back to the plateau. Plus I was on my period and that messes with the numbers.

It's OK though cause I'm not giving up or regressing. I am still seeing the results in my clothes, feeling my body get tighter, less bounce to the ounce! But come on scale, cooperate!

I have a pretty close online relationship to my trainer Kyle Harrod and he encouraged even more contact. Told me to start reporting what I ate on a daily basis. Oh crap, now I really had to shape up. It makes a difference when someone pushes you to be accountable to yourself. I told him I would be honest even if it revealed how much of a crack head I am when it comes to food. And he told me he would be judging me on what I ate, so hopefully that will be another tool to fight off temptation when a donut is starring me in the face.

No more tiny snacks in between, a bite here, a taste there. No more cleaning the leftovers off my son or husband's plate like I was a human garbage disposal or a dog eating sraps. Obviously that shit was adding up and affecting my numbers, not to mention the back to back weekend drinking I did this month. There was no drinking going on during Phase 1, I was that motivated. Sorry whiskey.

So this week no more alcohol, even less carbs, lots of water… and BAM! There it was, another drop in the scales. And I can’t wait for Friday because this week it is on. I am getting closer to that bikini bod again! haha

I doubt I'll ever bust out the red sequined dress again though!

If you want to see more skinny pictures of me, visit my 'Old School' photo album on Myspace. I was pretty freaking skinny then, but also pretty sick. I learned the hard way skinny does not equal healthy! That's another story for another time. Maybe one day I'll get brave enough to tell it and even post my 'before' pictures! They motivate me, the before and after because it reminds me of what I am capable of on both ends of the spectrum.

I know which direction I am heading in and I like how I'm getting there.


http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=57257551&albumId=1793589


Another skinny Leah pic, Thanksgiving 2004

I've seen the future....

And I like what I see. I've seen the future, because the future is now. Amazing what a little time can do for a situation, any situation really. For a person who thrives on instant gratification, time is otten the enemy.

But here I sit, 8:36pm on a Tuesday night. I have read two magazines. Two, while the magic of Elmo lulled my son into his pre-sleep state. The girls had a walk after dinner, bath, then bed at 7:00. I cannot believe this routine crap works. Maybe its just a cruel trick the few nights of uninterrupted sleep in a row has done to my mind, but I really think its working.

My husband deserves the credit and I proudly tell the world about our success, though I realize they do not, can not, grasp the magnitude of this milestone. Our kids are sleeping though the night. There I said it, against the fear if I spoke the truth aloud or admitted it to myself even in thought... poof! One of them would awake.

Sure I'll be up several times throughout the night for a wet diaper or four. There is no real such thing as completely sleeping through the night (is there? yet?) but I will take a few diaper changes then right back to bed over our previous up and down all damn night battle ANY night.

A few weeks ago Kenny put the ban on babies in the bed. He said he wanted his wife back, but really I think he just wanted the covers and some room. The queen size bed wasn't cutting it with 3-4 of us at a time! I didn't really mind them there. We kept a baby on constant rotation all night long. You never knew if the one you fell esleep with was goingto be the one you woke up with depending on who cried out next. As soon as one woke up, the other cuddled up one in my arms went back to their bed and a fresh body molded to mine.

Sure, my arm was asleep all the time and my hand was numb half the night, but damn they are good cuddlers. And smell way better than my husband. I was throwing my shoulder out of whack from always being in the baby cradling position. But I loved them and thought it was sweet.... until I realized I would get more sleep if they just slept instead of crying until mommy came to the rescue like they knew I would.

So we tried it his way. A few nights of torture (for me) otherwise known as the Cry It Out method and viola. All of a sudden they are sleeping without even getting up for a bottle.

My babies are growing up. They eat a lot of real food and are down to two bottles a day! Two! They used to eat every two hours. Wow. They have one nap a day, at the same time, no more tag teaming us with that one up, one down bullshit. I can actually plan stuff around naptime now because I know they will be ready to go to sleep for an hour or two from 10:00-12:00 everyday. They roam the house pretty freely, busting out of the baracaded living room that was maybe more of our comfort zone of safety than their preferred play area.

Time has passed, distorted by the trials of the past year we've faced. Sometimes it seems like if flew by, but most of the time it feels like I've lived a whole lifetime in these past 12 months. I was still hobbling around with them inside me fighting for space against my ribs and internal organs less than a year ago and here they are now fighting each other at their first birthday photo shoot!

I was smiling at 4:52am.

For real, couldn't make myself stop smiling. Two of my favorite songs came back to back on the radio and I just laughed at how happy I was to be going to Phase 2Bootcamp before dawn on a Monday morning. The sun was even starting to lighten the sky by the time I was on my way home! There wasn't a trace of snow anywhere on the gorud. I wasn't even wearing a jacket!

A week off had allowed my body to rest, minus the 5K race I completed Saturday. I was proud of myself for doing it, but also disappointed that I found it so hard. I think I set myself up. All the visualizing I did in my head didn't match the reality of the situation. I am not a runner anymore. I still have more weight on my body than needed. For so long when I was on bedrest, or trying to inspire myself with a postive mental image to keep from thinking about a bad one, I would imagine myself running a mini marathon. I was wearing a bright colored shirt and joyfully bouncing across the finish line.


When I executed this dream over the weekend, I had the bright colored shirt, but the only joyful bouncing going on was my ass. By the way, I saw some funny looking asses during my run that did make me feel better about my own! My husband pointed out all the nice butts were probably far ahead of us! I was kind of diapointed after the race at my performance.

But by Monday my knee and ankle felt better again. I remebered other things I noticed during my downtime, the progress that isn't noted on my weighloss/measurment chart. It is easier to do a squat with 25+ pounds baby im my arms. Effortless, actually. I do it without cringing or pain in knee or hips. I bet if I were dancing in the club I could drop it like its hot and come right back up without geting stuck and do it again!

I can reach things I couldn't get to before. I am more flexible, agile even. I can climb in and out the back of a tiny sports car without hoisting or moaning and graoning. Clothes that were tight when I bought them 6 months ago are falling off my body. I can actually get a pair of jeans over my hips and thighs without unbuttoning them. Hell, I need a belt! That never happens.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror all I can see is how far I still have to go. But some of the most important victories I've had this week were not physical. I sat at Clifton's, the yummiest, cheesiest, crust filled pizza place in town, and didn't eat. I just enjoyed the company and avoided the temptations. I went to another pizza party at my family's house to watch the last UL game in Freedom Hall and I brought my own food in a bag. They looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn't crack.

To me, that is more of a success than any number in the record book. And the record books have my name all over them these days, I lost 22.2 lbs the first round of Bootcamp. In one month. And now I'm ready to do it again! I can never express how greatful I am to Kyle Harrod and the people I have come in contact with at Maximun Fitness for the inspiration and opportunity to grow and become stronger at such an awesome place.