Most of the time time I think This is great! I can handle this.. I'm doing it!

Some days it just seems crazy... HOW AM I going to do this?

Everyone is sick. Everyone is crying. Everyone needs a piece of me, my own body as well, screaming to express its milk, hungering for nutrition other than the pop tarts and frozen meals I squeeze in between a rush to make a bottle, change a diaper, pump my breast milk, nurse a hungry baby who needs food now. I need food now, yet I pass the banana on the counter yet again because they need me. My babies.

Then I get some sleep... enough sleep to matter, just a few hours of interupted sleep makes a world of difference to the zombie I have become. I wake up energized and refresh and ready to go again and suddlenly things dont seem so hard. I feel like a normal person again.

I shower and put on fresh clean clothes, a real bra, socks, shoes. I apply make up and listen to music and feel the flicker of excitment like when I used to get ready to go to the club.

Now its over a trip to the grocery.