I have a cycle, a behavior pattern.
I go go go, give give give, push so hard I eventually break
down. Not just side of the road
maintenance needed, I’m talking full head on collision with myself. Fiery
explosion. End of story crash.
I power through life,
ignoring the service engine indicators blinking in my face, speed past yellow warning
lights, blatantly block out the ‘DANGER! Curvy Road Ahead' signs. I press the pedal to the metal even
harder.
Eventually I reach the point of no return, fly off the side of the cliff without any DeLorean powers and fall. Hard. Crash and burn style.
Eventually I reach the point of no return, fly off the side of the cliff without any DeLorean powers and fall. Hard. Crash and burn style.
It’s hard to come back over and over again from a burning
pile of ashes. My white light is hot and
bright, fast and fierce… until it’s not anymore.
One of the most annoying observations I hear repeatedly as a
mom of three little ones is “Oh you’ve got your hand full!” You think!? (And most ironically this hidden
insult/judgment was often slung our way when we LITERALLY had our arms full double
fisting 2-3 babies at a time or wiping poopy butt while simultaneously chasing a
toddler.) Most people just stare at our
three ring circus in wonderment without offering help. I’m cool with that, but don’t feel sorry for
me. We’ve got this!
Another statement often uttered in genuine curiosity and
wide-eyed amazement is ‘I don’t know how you do it!?” Well, me either but we
do!
My philosophy behind claiming the Super MOM persona is God
chose ME for this job in life. He
blessed us with three babies in 15months.
He made my hands so full they were overflowing. And yes as this blog
documents from the beginning, it was overwhelming. And exciting.
And beyond scary.
Something about me was ‘worthy enough’ to let the abundance
flow and I allowed it. I believed in
myself enough to manifest this life and accept it. So when times get hard I remember I was made
for this. I was anointed with this
‘burden’. I was chosen for this
greatness. And all super hero lovers
know with great power comes great responsibility or some Spiderman spin off.
Point is, I can handle it.
I handle it. Its handled, Olivia Pope style baby. Hardcore, balls to the wall, get shit
done. I muster up the strength and
energy even when I’m sick and tired. I
barrel through and push harder and get it all done. But at what cost?
For a few years I lost me. ME, this awesome, vibrant ball of
energy dried up and crusted over. I
spent several years just going through the motions, getting by, and not really
living life. Deep depression, so anxiety
riddled I rarely left my house other than to shuffle kids around to and from pre-school
or trudge through the grocery store. I
didn’t go dancing with my friends. I
stopped exercising and lifting weights which I loved. I let injury and physical/mental illness
riddle me to the couch and bed with crushing chest pain at 33 years old. My
kids suffered missing their Mom. My husband wasn’t happy. I was far from happy until I crawled out of
the hole I dug for myself and decided to let ME out again.
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| LEAH: Expect Great Things :) |
So here I am.
Guess whose back revamped, revitalized and more ALIVE than
ever. I’ll tell you how I did it step by step, crawl by crawl, layer shed by
layer let go. Some people may not ‘like’ the “new” Leah or understand me, but
that’s their issue to deal with not mine. I’m tired of carrying other people’s
worries, thoughts and opinions on my back.
It’s hard to fly with the weight of the world on your shoulders.
It’s hard to fly with the weight of the world on your shoulders.
So I'm dropping the baggage from the past, emptying out the
backpack full of stones on my back, cutting the cords of addiction, letting go of the cross
body bag of mommy guilt burdens we all sometimes carry. Elsa style let it go, let it GO!
Let's slice open our own hearts and heal from the inside out before we carry that shit around so long we’re old and heart diseased and a surgeon has to do it for us. Feed our body fuel that’s going to enhance its natural ability, avoid the chemically laden matter they call ‘food’ these days. Grow our minds and let our spirits BE the beautiful natural souls they were before the human world went and twisted them up with all our silliness and distractions.
Let's slice open our own hearts and heal from the inside out before we carry that shit around so long we’re old and heart diseased and a surgeon has to do it for us. Feed our body fuel that’s going to enhance its natural ability, avoid the chemically laden matter they call ‘food’ these days. Grow our minds and let our spirits BE the beautiful natural souls they were before the human world went and twisted them up with all our silliness and distractions.
We can all do it! Find YOU, the perfectly flawed being you
were designed to be.
You don’t have to be a ‘mom’ to be SUPER.
You don’t have to be a ‘mom’ to be SUPER.
